World Suicide Prevention Day
Tomorrow is World Suicide Prevention Day and
I find myself thinking of all the theological misconceptions around suicide.
The questions people have when a loved one takes his or her own life are
particularly difficult, in part because suicide is such a bizarre event that it
makes us question much of what we thought to be true. I say it’s bizarre
because creation is made to live and to desire life; the very fact that a
person no longer desires what he or she has been created for is an unusual
twist in the created order.
Fortunately, the Church now has the opportunity to acknowledge our error and take an active role in suicide prevention and care, as we have with other ancestral baggage. A suicidal person is in utterly unbearable pain, such as most of us could never imagine. Jesus calls such hurting people, saying “Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:18). As the Creator-God, it is always God’s desire that God’s children choose life, promising to carry us through the darkest and most painful moments of our lives. Yet when a child dies, God is also there to catch him, to gather him into God’s arms and keep him safe there forever.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, click here to contact the Manitoba Suicide Hotline
Tomorrow is World Suicide Prevention Day and
I find myself thinking of all the theological misconceptions around suicide.
The questions people have when a loved one takes his or her own life are
particularly difficult, in part because suicide is such a bizarre event that it
makes us question much of what we thought to be true. I say it’s bizarre
because creation is made to live and to desire life; the very fact that a
person no longer desires what he or she has been created for is an unusual
twist in the created order.
Nonetheless, I think it’s fair to say that virtually all of
us has been affected by suicide in some way; I can’t even count the number of
people I know of who have suicided, known either to me or to people I love. I
use the verb “suicided” rather than “committed suicide” because it’s time we
stopped putting suicide in the same category as a crime (such as, “he committed
a felony”). Usually when someone “commits” something it is utterly shameful, a
taboo subject in the community.
In years past, the Church has made the grave mistake of
treating suicide as one such taboo subject. These deaths were explained away
and condemned, the families of the deceased shamed and outcast. A person who
died this was buried outside the churchyard as a symbol that he or she would
not rise with the Christians on the day of resurrection and would be condemned
to eternal punishment.Fortunately, the Church now has the opportunity to acknowledge our error and take an active role in suicide prevention and care, as we have with other ancestral baggage. A suicidal person is in utterly unbearable pain, such as most of us could never imagine. Jesus calls such hurting people, saying “Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:18). As the Creator-God, it is always God’s desire that God’s children choose life, promising to carry us through the darkest and most painful moments of our lives. Yet when a child dies, God is also there to catch him, to gather him into God’s arms and keep him safe there forever.
As those who are left behind to wonder and to grieve, I
believe the most important thing we can do is to talk openly about suicide, as
scary and painful as it can be. When a friend or family member is struggling,
don’t be afraid to ask about it. Encourage her to seek help in whatever way you
can, reminding her that she will come out the other side of the darkness she’s
experiencing. Tell her she never needs to walk alone- and then tell her again.
Tomorrow I will wear a yellow ribbon to honour the too-short
lives of those I have known and those I have not. But I also wear the ribbon as
a symbol of light in dark places, a reminder that it’s ok to talk about suicide
and to ask for help. Finally, I wear the ribbon as a reminder to myself that
sometimes the people around me are walking in dark and lonely places. Perhaps
if we can walk together, the road will be a little smoother and the burden a
little lighter. Perhaps together we can come out the other side of that
darkness.If you or someone you know is in crisis, click here to contact the Manitoba Suicide Hotline
I particularly appreciate your language shift away from "committing" suicide - you're right, it is language of crime, not of illness or pain. Somebody who was very dear to me at the time attempted suicide a few years ago and thankfully stopped himself, but it was (for many reasons) excruciatingly painful for ME and I learned a lot, I think, abut how hard it is to be in the life of somebody who is suicidal. There are often very complicated emotions involved on the part of the support persons - love and frustration and hurt and many more - especially once the initial crisis time is past.
ReplyDeleteYou make a really good point, Teresa, about how difficult it can be to love a person who is suicidal. The feelings of helplessness and the inability to always say and do the right thing can be overwhelming.
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